Listen here single boys!

Let's get something straight, I am a fan of everyone getting their groove on. Honestly, I want everyone to get laid, why wouldn't I? But, I want people to be smart about it. I want people to be real about. And I have no problem giving someone a nudge in the right direction. All they have to do is listen, which is the hardest part. Some people just don't listen, then they end up shooting themselves in the...foot.
Recently, I was enjoying a delightful dinner with Great Guy. We tend to sit at the bar, because we really enjoy great bartenders. This particular evening there was a young man sitting  next to me, and he was all by himself. He had finished his dinner and seemed to be getting ready to settle up. Me being me, I said something funny and struck up a conversation. As we talked he indicated that he had a little crush on the cutie bartender, and she was super cute. The two of them started talking again, and I could see that she was into him. They obviously had some chemistry. When she walked away, I leaned over and said, "Make your move, man. She's into you." He laughed it off and then volunteered that some blonde girl down the bar had sent over her number. He admitted it was forward on her part, and wasn't sure that he was into a girl that does something like that. I obviously checked the blonde out, wanted to make sure I was going to give my young friend the right advice. The bartender was much cuter, more charismatic, more the kind of girl you want to date. The blonde was a bad one night stand waiting to happen. I said,"Don't bother with the blonde." And he agreed. But here is where we clearly had a miscommunication. 
Upon settling his bill and making that cute little last connection with the bartender, he walked over to talk to the blonde. WHAT!?! Did we... Did he just... Hold the phone!
I can't tell you the level of disappointment I was experiencing. Not only was he giving the blonde the time of day, but he was doing it in front of the cutie bartender. Not only was he going for the easy option, he was totally dismissing the fact that the bartender was watching. So, here is an instance where I hope he doesn't get laid. 
If you can't see the real prize right in front of you, you don't deserve it. And this doesn't just go for boys, girls you are guilty of this too. It's not about quantity, because you can sleep with lots of people but it usually amounts to nothing. Instead, focus on quality. Find real people and real connection, and make it matter. When it boils down to it, what I'm saying is don't be dumb. 
That's my two cents.

Dating like grown folks

I seriously need to have a heart to heart with you single people. WTF!?! What is going on in the dating scene? Honestly, what are you people doing? I have a number of single male and female friends, all of who are having difficulty finding what it is they are looking for in someone to date. I am hearing complaints about being lead on, or being attacked by stage 5 clingers and my favorite, the commitment fobes. It sounds terrible, and quite frankly makes me thank my lucky stars that I am not still single, trying to find someone to be in a relationship with. And of course being the good honest friend that I am, I give my friends the following bit of advice. Date like a adult!

From what I remember about dating, it hasn't been that long ago for me but this helps build the drama, the point is to see if you have a connection with someone that could be a potentially lasting relationship. Did I get that right? Dating is supposed to be about discovering something in yourself, and in someone else. Where I think people get side tracked is our human nature takes hold and our judgement gets clouded. So that we are meeting people and immediately falling in love, lusting and picturing them naked, or seeing them walking down the isle in the white dress, after only 5 minutes of the first date. Get a grip people! Date so you can get to know someone, beyond what kind of car they drive and how much money they make. Date, so you can understand what that person wants out of life. Then figure out if your wants are compatible. Date, so you know what that person is about, not just what they look like. Date, so in a few weeks or months you know whether or not this person is destined to be your friend, mate or both.

Now here is the advice I have given the most these last few month, be honest about your intentions. I know, I know sometimes putting all your cards on the table early on doesn't work to your advantage, but I say it probably saves you some time. For example, while I was single with a purpose ( I designated a specific amount of time that I was choosing to be single, in order to better understand what it was I wanted in a future dating partner.), I made it very clear to interested parties that I was not interested in dating. At that particular point I wanted to be free to 'sample' the field as I saw fit. Most of the gentlemen who I had this discussion with appreciated my honesty. A few found it refreshing that I was taking a traditionally male ideology towards dating. But the fact that I was honest about where I was emotionally as an individual took the elephant out of the room, so to speak, and saved me time and other people's emotionally energy. If you have no intention of calling a girl after taking her out on a date, please tell her. And ladies, when a guy tells you this, don't freak out. Be appreciative that he's not wasting your time, so you can concentrate your efforts on finding Mr. Right.

We all have feelings involved in this thing we call dating. We need to be respectful of ourselves and others, by stating our intentions clearly, not playing emotional games, and being honest with ourselves and others about what we are looking for. It is only the right, and adult thing to do.

That's my two cents, thanks for listening.

Know your Hooha!

   A few weeks ago, I read an NPR article about the misconception that single women were less promiscuous than single men. A survey concluded that single women were just as interested in one night stands and random hook ups, as their man counterparts. Well, duh. I mean that's what the game is all about, right ladies? We can go out and have just as much fun as the guys. Naughty Nanny has done a walk of shame on an occasion or two. But this article took it a step further and asked the question why it seemed single women weren't into it as much. Well, the survey found that single women were less likely to participate in the one night stands because of the ROI. That's right, the return on investment keeps the gals from putting out! LOL. So, I started thinking about it. When Naughty Nanny was in the height of her crazy fun times, it required a lot of work. I'm talking about all the work I did before leaving the house for the night. The shaving of the legs, the hair, the makeup, the amazing dress that I only paid half price for, but was still way too expensive. All that takes time and dedication. But then there is the whole going out and finding someone worth spending your time with. The bar scene is tough, and it's very easy to come up empty handed, on a regular basis. But here's the point. You could look amazing, find a guy worth the shaved legs, and you could still not reach 'your final destination'. You know what I mean, the Big O. I must admit, that thought scared me from taking an evening to the next level. It has even influenced me a time or two, to stay home in my favorite pink jammies, grab the Girl Scout cookies and order some crazy chick flick on tv. The ROI idea makes perfect sense when you think of it like that. Are you just going to put out without it being put back on ya? So, gals, why aren't we getting off at the exit? I have a theory.
   How well do you know your body, gals? I MEAN, how well do you know your hooha? Do you know how it works? Would you be comfortable enough with a stranger to show/tell them how you like it. My thought is that we women need to be so comfortable with our lady bits that we know how to reach that exit regularly, or are comfortable letting someone else know how to help us get there. Think of it like this, if you knew that every time you were going to engage in a hook up or one night stand, you were going to experience the divine pleasure that comes with...well you see where I'm going here. Wouldn't you be eager to find a willing participant and have at it? Naughty Nanny says "Hell yeah!" So my advice, ladies, is to know your hooha, love your hooha, and let someone know how to love it too. Get yours ladies! 
   That's my two cents. 
   

She's back!!!!

Welcome! For those of you that have been loyal followers of NNLG since her days on Facebook, thank you so much for your loyalty. NNLG appreciates the love. For those of you new to NNLG, here's a small but good sample of what you might find.

The emotionally unavailable guy.
I know what you are thinking single ladies...story of your life, right? But I have a new way for you to look at it. If you really think about it, it's not such a bad thing.
Now, I must preface this by saying that I am definitely the exception, not the rule for this one. But listen to what I have to say, and then decide for yourself. I am relishing in being single. I really don't know why I thought I needed to be in a relationship all this time. Not that relationships are bad, but that there is a time and place for them, and I've wasted too much time. And while I'm in my single cause I want to be phase, I've been attracting perfect men for this particular period in my life. The emotionally unavailable guy. You might be thinking what fun is that? But actually it is the BEST. I am maintaining my independence, which is super important to me right now, but can pop the EUG in and out as I please. There's no overly emotional attachment, thus there isn't any work to do. You simply are together when you are together, and are not when you are not. I can go out have a great time with an EUG, then go home to my house and slip on my favorite pink fuzzy pajamas and eat ice cream in bed. I don't have to worry about dealing with feelings or stepping on toes, or even having to make phone calls, God forbid I should have to actually have a conversation beyond what bar are we meeting at. I am loving this! I get to do the me thing, and have "companionship" when and if I want it, on my terms.
Granted I am sure that the time will come when I want someone next to me when I'm eating ice cream in bed, it is nice to share (sometimes). And a relationship, at the right time and place in your life can be wonderful. But for those in between times when you are wanting to focus your energy on yourself, but still need to have your..."needs" met, find and EUG. And ladies there are plenty of them out there. That's my two cents for the day.

Thanks again for tuning in, NNLG looks forward to engaging with you on lots of fun topics. Stay tuned!